Preparing for your wedding is a hectic time. There are so many things that need to get done before the big day, quite a few couples find that they forget a few things. First, there is no need to stress, as long as one of the things you forgot about was not hitting up the shoe store for your wedding shoes.
To be successful at preparing for your wedding you have to consider every detail, and sometimes think outside the box. Preparing for your wedding and crosses all your tee’s and dotting all your I’s takes diligence and a lot of planning.
If you start planning early, preparing for your wedding will be a lot easier. You can get some of the big things out of the way like choosing a venue, caterer, and entertainment so you can focus on all the little details that a great event requires.
When it comes to planning, reducing human errors means keeping a tight circle of planners around. A lot of couples make the mistake of allowing too many cooks in the kitchen. Everyone knows someone that has had a wedding, and everyone will have an opinion about yours. Getting advice from more than a handful of people will delay the progress of preparing for your wedding.
Parents, a couple of close friends, and siblings can be a great help during the planning phase. Having too much input is just as bad as not having any. Dear Aunty Mabel may have had a great wedding in 1952 but do you really need her to be part of the planning party? No, you don’t.
Ideally, you will start planning your wedding a year in advance. It can be more cost-effective to plan further out, and of course, will leave you with more options. Before you sign any of the contracts for the bigger services like venues and catering, you may want to get some legal advice. It is important going into a contract that you understand your rights and responsibilities.
Unfortunately, with the COVID 19 outbreak, a lot of couples found out that “non-refundable” deposits mean exactly that even when faced with a worldwide pandemic. If things go south for your plans what are your options to ensure you do not lose your money? Does the venue have a cancellation policy, if so what is it?
You must get down to the nuts and bolts of every contract that you sign to ensure that you are protected. While we should always hope for the best, it is important to be prepared for the worst. Once, you get the big stuff decided on than you can pay attention to all the little things that make a wedding special.
Tips for Keeping Down the Stress
Hiring a professional planner may not be in the budget, so you may have to do much of the planning yourself, which can be very stressful, but there are ways to keep the stress down and make sure that you are doing a lot of self-care.
Here are some tips to help navigate preparing for your wedding and keeping the stress down:
- Put other people in charge. While it can be hard to give up control of any part of the planning, it is necessary. Delegate duties to trusted loved ones that you know will get the job done. Things like keeping up with the florist, comparing prices for wedding signage, and other duties can become overwhelming. Asking for help when you need it will keep the stress down.
- Make lists and share them. Make a list of what everyone involved is supposed to be doing and check things off as you go, but do not check the task off the list until it is completed. For example, checking off wedding signage once you order it can be risky. Check it off the list once you have the signs in your hand.
- Make time for just you and your partner. It is easy to get caught up in preparing for your wedding and forget the reason why you are getting married. Make sure you put time on the side to spend alone with your significant other. Set specific time for you to reconnect with each other, and make that time “a no wedding zone” time. Don’t lose sight of what this is all about.
Each year about 23 million people are either bridesmaids or groomsmen at a friend or family members wedding. That number is so high because the wedding party is tasked with attending to the couples needs including helping to put the wedding together and taking over some duties. Don’t be afraid to hand out assignments.
If you are struggling with the stress consider taking supplements that are known to help with anxiety-like CBD oil. Take some “me” time away from the wedding (but don’t stay away from the planning too long). Everyone needs to take a break every once and a while.
Do a little search for acupuncture near me to see if there is a practitioner nearby and take advantage of the natural healing powers. Acupuncture is a great way to destress and relax. A few treatments and you will be ready to get back to preparing for your wedding.
Maintaining Your Relationship While Preparing for Your Wedding
Some couples state that wedding planning was the worst time for their relationship because of the stress and strain of trying to get it all done. Practice good communication, so decision making meetings do not turn into a week-long war of the wills.
If making decisions is putting a strain on your relationship use a third-party mediator, like a friend of the family or a religious leader. It is important that you and your partner can work things out, and if planning a wedding is too much strain for your relationship it is best to figure out why that is the case. You will have a lot of decisions to make throughout your lifetime together, learning to compromise and work things out now is critical and will help build the skills you both need in the future.
Sometimes you just have to decide what is worth arguing about. Do you really need your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend from the 8th grade at the wedding if your soon to be spouse is opposed to it? Think about what is really important to you before you decide you are going to stand your ground.
Did You Say Prenup?
There are many couples today that are meeting later on in life and they want to get married but they are worried about all that they built and not losing it if things go south. Some couples are totally against a prenup, but if you and your partner think this is something that you need to move forward, contact your family lawyer early on to have the documents drawn up.
Does a prenup say that you think the marriage is going to fail? Well, no, it does not. It is a document that is favored by anyone that needs to have a complete plan for their life and that does not like to leave things up to fate.
Marriage is after all a contract when it comes down to it. If things do not work out you could be facing years in divorce court, a prenuptial agreement can mean that everyone knows exactly what they are getting should things not work out.
Consider seeing a family lawyer about 6 months before the wedding date just to be sure that both attorneys (yes each partner should have their own attorney) can review the document, negotiate if necessary, and make changes. If preparing for your wedding includes legal matters like a prenup it is best to get them out of the way as soon as possible.
Tuning Things Up
Many people choose their pre-wedding period to perfect themselves. They make appointments for cosmetic dentistry to have their smile beautified, they go on diets, start working out to tone everything up, and take other steps to improve their appearance.
Here is some advice when it comes to making big changes, don’t make those big changes too close to the wedding date. For example, if getting Botox has been on your list of things to do, do it about 2 months out, just in case things go wrong, you will have time to heal.
Before you do anything too drastic to your look, do a Google search of things that can go wrong, then decide if it is something you are wiling to risk. Preparing for your wedding is not the time that you want to take that leap into something very different, just in case, you decide you hate it.
Stick with what you know and what you are comfortable with. The average wedding has about 135 guests, you do not want to debut a new look that you hate in front of 135 people. It is always best to be conservative with changes while preparing for your wedding.
Some Common Things That Couples Forget
There is a lot to keep up with when you are preparing for your wedding. There are some common things that are overlooked when preparations are under way including:
- Who will speak at your wedding? You want to designate a time when everyone that wants to speak can. Make sure you put that into your wedding program.
- A wedding itinerary. Laying out a complete schedule and sharing that information with everyone involved with the wedding to make sure everyone is on the same page.
- Assigning someone to deal with any venue questions. Many times during the wedding the event coordinator will have questions about the event, it is best to ask someone to be the point of contact so that the coordinator is not coming up to you or your partner during the recaption.
Toasts are wonderful usually, but you want to kind of limit them, the last thing you want is that ex-boyfriend from the 8th grade that you fought for to attend, getting up drunk and pouring out his feelings for you. You do not need a professional public speaker to make the initial toast but you do want to be sure that the person that is making that important first toast can manage a few kind words.
A lot of couples put in their wedding program that toasts can be made during dinner. A little reminder can help to ensure that everyone behaves themselves. Doing the toasting early on at the event also ensures that everyone has not had a chance to partake in too many adult beverages.
Preparing for your wedding can be made easier when everyone involved is on the same page. A simple itinerary can include information like:
- What time everyone needs to be at the rehearsal. It is a good idea to make times 15 minutes earlier than people actually need to be there. We all have friends and family members that pride themselves on their constant tardiness.
- What time everyone needs to be at the ceremony venue. Detail every part of the ceremony and the reception including times for photographs etc. The more everyone knows what to expect the better the outcome will be.
- Bouquet toss, garter toss, exit, first dance, mother son dance, father daughter dance. Lay it all out.
Preparing for your wedding by putting in the work to ensure that everyone is aware of the scheduling will help your bridal party and family stay on point and take a lot of the stress and worry off your shoulders.
Many times wedding mishaps happen simply because there is a lack of communication. Do not rely on sending mass texts or emails. It is far better to have a typed out itinerary and then send out reminders when you need to via text. In other words, you have the power to reduce the risk of errors by making sure everyone that needs to know about the plans does.
Preparing for your wedding should be a joyful time. With a little preplanning way ahead of the event and using good communication skills, and stealing some time for yourself, everything will come together perfectly.