Planning a wedding involves more than just the big day—it’s a journey filled with special moments along the way. One of the most cherished pre-wedding events is the bridal shower. But many people often ask the same question: Who plans the bridal shower?
Whether you’re the bride, maid of honor, bridesmaid, or a close relative, it helps to know what’s expected and how the planning process works. This guide will walk you through who typically hosts a bridal shower, what their responsibilities are, and how to make it a memorable experience for everyone.
Let’s take the guesswork out of planning and help you create a bridal shower the bride will always remember.
What Is a Bridal Shower?
A bridal shower is a daytime celebration held in honor of the bride-to-be. It’s a chance for friends and family to come together to celebrate her upcoming marriage and “shower” her with love, support, and often, gifts.
Common Features of a Bridal Shower:
- Light food or brunch
- Games and fun activities
- Gift-opening
- Speeches or toasts
- A relaxed and festive vibe
The tone is usually more traditional and family-friendly compared to other pre-wedding events like the bachelorette party.
So, Who Plans the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the maid of honor or bridesmaids take the lead on planning the bridal shower. However, modern showers can be hosted by a mix of people, including family members or close friends.
Here’s a breakdown of who typically plans and what each role may include:
- Maid of Honor
The maid of honor is often the go-to person for organizing pre-wedding events. If no one else volunteers, she usually takes the lead on the bridal shower.
Typical responsibilities:
- Choosing the date and venue
- Coordinating with the bride (or surprising her, if planned secretly)
- Delegating tasks to bridesmaids or helpers
- Managing the guest list
- Helping with food, decorations, and games
- Keeping the bride’s preferences front and center
- Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids often pitch in to help plan, decorate, and host the event. If the bridal shower is a group effort, they may:
- Share costs
- Brainstorm themes and games
- Assist with setup and cleanup
- Co-host the party with the maid of honor
Some groups even divide tasks evenly to make planning easier for everyone.
- Family Members
While traditional etiquette once suggested that immediate family shouldn’t host (to avoid looking like they were asking for gifts), today it’s totally acceptable for family to plan the bridal shower—especially if they love to host or the bride is very close to her family.
Common family hosts include:
- Mother of the bride
- Sisters or cousins
- Aunts or grandmothers
Sometimes, the groom’s family also helps or throws a second shower if guests can’t attend the main one.
- Close Friends or Coworkers
In some cases, a close family friend, neighbor, or coworker may volunteer to plan a separate, smaller bridal shower—especially if the main shower is far away or includes different social circles.
Multiple showers are common and perfectly acceptable, as long as they don’t overlap or feel repetitive.
How to Decide Who Should Host
If no one has stepped forward yet, here are a few ways to figure it out:
- Ask the bride what she prefers. She might already have someone in mind or prefer to keep things low-key.
- Talk as a group. Bridesmaids and family members can coordinate and decide together who wants to take the lead or co-host.
- Share responsibilities. One person can host while others help plan, decorate, or chip in financially.
The key is communication. A quick group chat or meeting can help divide the work and make planning easier for everyone.
When Should the Bridal Shower Be Held?
Bridal showers are usually held 1 to 3 months before the wedding, depending on the bride’s schedule and location of guests. The best time is far enough in advance to avoid last-minute stress, but close enough to the wedding to keep the excitement going.
Consider:
- The bride’s availability
- Travel time for out-of-town guests
- Avoiding busy weekends like holidays or big wedding tasks (like fittings or rehearsals)
The sooner you lock in the date, the easier it is to book venues and send invites.
Where Should the Bridal Shower Be Held?
The bridal shower can take place anywhere that fits the vibe and budget. Here are a few ideas:
- Someone’s home (living room, backyard, or patio)
- A local restaurant or tea room
- A garden, park, or clubhouse
- Community halls or event spaces
Choose a venue based on guest count, desired theme, weather, and budget. Always consider what would make the bride feel most comfortable and celebrated.
What Does the Host Pay For?
The host (or hosts) typically cover the main costs of the bridal shower. These may include:
- Venue rental (if applicable)
- Food and drinks
- Decorations and supplies
- Invitations or e-vites
- Games, prizes, and party favors
- A small gift for the bride (optional, if hosting solo)
If the event is co-hosted, costs can be split to ease the burden. Guests are not expected to pay anything other than bringing a gift for the bride.
What Should the Bride Do?
The bride’s role in the bridal shower is usually simple—show up, enjoy, and feel loved. She may help by:
- Sharing her guest list
- Creating a gift registry
- Providing input on the date and theme (if asked)
- Writing thank-you notes after the event
Most of the planning should be done by others, so the bride doesn’t have to worry about details.
What About Joint Showers?
In modern weddings, more couples are opting for joint bridal showers or Jack and Jill showers. These include both the bride and groom and often feature co-ed games, shared stories, and a more casual, party-like feel.
Joint showers are often planned by friends or both families working together. They’re great for couples who want to celebrate with everyone in one event or who aren’t interested in traditional roles.
How Is It Different From a Bachelorette Party?
If you’re new to wedding events, you might wonder about the difference between a bridal shower vs bachelorette party.
Here’s a quick comparison:
| Event | Bridal Shower | Bachelorette Party |
| Purpose | Celebrate the bride and give gifts | Celebrate the bride’s last days of single life |
| Vibe | Formal or family-friendly | Fun, casual, or adventurous |
| Guests | Family and friends of all ages | Close friends or bridal party only |
| Time | Daytime | Evening or weekend |
| Who Plans | Bridesmaids, family, or friends | Maid of honor and bridesmaids |
Understanding the difference helps everyone plan the right kind of celebration—and ensures the bride gets the best of both worlds.
Tips for Hosting a Stress-Free Bridal Shower
Hosting doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Here are some tips to keep things smooth and fun:
- Start early: Give yourself at least 6–8 weeks to plan
- Delegate: Don’t be afraid to ask others to help with food, games, or setup
- Keep the bride’s style in mind: She may love low-key brunches or fun themes
- Use checklists: Create a planning timeline and guest list to stay on track
- Have a backup plan: Especially for outdoor events—weather happens!
- Enjoy the moment: This is about love and celebration, not perfection
Final Thoughts
So, who plans the bridal shower? In short: it depends. The maid of honor often leads the charge, but bridesmaids, family members, and even close friends can step in to make it special. The most important thing is that the shower reflects the bride’s personality and creates lasting memories.
With a little teamwork, good communication, and thoughtful planning, anyone can host a bridal shower that the bride will cherish forever.
Whether you’re keeping things traditional or combining it with other events, like the bachelorette party, knowing your role and staying organized will make the planning process smooth—and fun for everyone involved.
